Happy Talk

I am in a place that feels very unfamiliar to me today. It is quite exhilarating and, like anything unfamiliar, a little bit frightening. This place I'm at? Complete and utter contentment with my life.

I am not accustomed to this place. I dwell in the land of cynicism and self-recrimination. But I think I am, literally, as fat and happy and I've ever been in my life. (The fat part will have to be another post. Fat-talk and happy-talk don't work well together.)

It's been a tough year for a lot of people. I have several friends and family members who are having a pretty crappy year, and I hate that. Boy, have I been there. I am not accustomed to having things fall into place easily. Fortune does NOT often feel very smiley toward me. So I sort of feel guilty, and shocked, that that I am having such an amazing and wonderful year -- my first grandchild on the way, my son's impending marriage, our new home, a job that seems relatively secure (by today's standards, anyway). And yesterday, my hubby and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.

It's kind of a big deal, I think, to be married that long. I have no magic answer for how I managed to do that, but when asked the secret to a long marriage, I can only offer this: Stay married, even when you think you might want out. It might pass. (It did, every time) Now, that's not to say I think people should stay together no matter what, but I do think that it's easy to forget what all those commitments we made at the alter really mean. The "worse" part of "for better or worse" implies that some really shitty stuff will go down, but we tend to have trouble seeing that on the wedding day, what with the standard-issue rose colored wedding-day glasses we're wearing.

But here I am, 25 years later, still married. Who'd have thunk it? Yep, there's been some "worse". But a heck of a lot of "better". We created, out of nothing, a family; a life. Fully textured, fully lived, with tears and laughter and memories. The past 25 years have not always been easy. We've faced really scary health crises, and we've buried cherished family members. We've dealt with financial challenges, disappointments, and job losses. Sometimes, we didn't like each other very much.

But we also built traditions and created memories. We raised a wonderful son who has grown into an amazing young man, and is now starting his own family. We've made rich friendships that feel like family. We've found that hard times really DO make us stronger, and that life is just easier when shared. Along the way, we both realized that we were married to our best friend.

I'm happy that my husband stuck with me all these years. He damn well better be happy I stuck with him! It hasn't always been easy, but it HAS always been worth it. I feel very, very fortunate, and yes, blessed.